Experiment or Future Layout

Here is what i am trying out. I have been keeping a record of each day and what i think, do and want during that day. I have only recorded 3 days so far. lets see if i keep it up. if i do i will keep on posting and one day i will have my life recorded and a self portrait completed.

the only thing is i don't know how to use italics on the internets.



The Daily Accounts of What I Think, What I Do, and What I Want
all dreams are italicized


February 10, 2008

What happens when you wake from a dream unfinished. Where does that world go, where do you in the context of that world go. The songs you sing and the coats you wear all disappear.
David said that dreams last a ‘dream’ week in one ‘real life’ night. How many lives do we live in our absence from the waking life.

The events of the night I finally spent with you. broken birthday hats and umbrellas on the wall. Umbrellas as upside down decorations. Umbrellas as swords and beating sticks. The most beautiful introduction and the sweetest wine. Or was it orange juice. Or was it both. 3 different versions of the same cake. Naming the spider little street after david and kissing goodbye in the subway.
Then a glass of sangria and a plate of peppercino peppers three stories above Times Square staring at the stocks fly by in bright yellow lights. At one in the morning.

I want wallpaper with architectural drawings on it.




February 11, 2008

What would it be like to be on the other side of the road. It always looks so crowded over there. At 4 in the morning, when the cats are trying to climb up the walls. That’s when I remember dreams. Trying to hide out in the woods, escaping a psycho killer with psycho killer. In a small wooden bunker surrounded by dead leaves. And no matter what I had to save my sweaters. Someone always dies in my dreams.
When you stand in line at an elevator with someone who has only one leg. Is it rude to take the stairs when the elevator is taking too long to open?

When I woke up it was 16 degrees outside.

I drew multiple hot air balloons and created giant banners. 8 feet tall walls of color and crocodiles. The fed ex man knows me by name now. I should really start wearing socks in the winter months and I learned how to open up heating vents. Delighted the man at the coffee shop because I keep my credit cards in a cigarette case…yes, I pay for coffee with credit cards. Listening to the same song on loop for a few days. Obsessive. will probably listen to it on loop for another few days. Compulsive. It is strange/exciting that your face can be stolen through the internet. I realized that there is something very charming about songs you love coming out of very poor speakers. 4 pm the sun comes through the windows so bright I get to wear my sunglasses at work.

I want that new tattoo.



February 12, 2008

Should I spend 150 dollars on a banjo. I have wanted one for the longest time. Since I left the south. I want to pretend to play it and be the southern girl with blood on her clothes and dirt in her hair that I used to be.
Horrifying dreams. My ribs are still holding them. But my mind forgot them. I feel like I am losing time. How many years can I do this.
I miss yesterday and all those drawing of hot air balloons I did. Things seemed so simple then.

Spent 2 hours inside the internet. There are too many numbers and codes and rules and it made my brain feel awful. 00:1e:5442:7002:23:d56l:00:1e:52:7r2:28m773:d5 and 1982.168.31.1. and all over again and again. Again. Looked at pictures of banjos. Felt bad about bothering david at work and wrote a few emails. Watch the little snowflakes fall down, float down, dance down to the asphalt were the will die or melt or make traffic terrible. I need to write a letter to my grandmother. Drank peach-mango vitamin water, which is the best vitamin water flavor. Watched the snow fall some more and recorded the lighting effects of snow against orange. it makes skin look blue and/or white. example below.

I do want that banjo.